A year ago I felt that it was time to share my testimony. I didn’t feel ready to share because I still felt too broken and ashamed to admit that I struggled with addiction. I still felt covered up by the pain and the despair of the reality that my relationship with food is a broken one. But in the middle of that pain, I still knew that God’s promise was true for me, that he can make all things new. Even the most broken part of me can be made new.
Something changed after I began to share my story of healing from addiction. Through sharing, it was as if I was stepping into a bright light. Now I no longer have to hide or struggle alone. I’m finding freedom from my old patterns of sin, and am being made new. I’m being filled with hope that even though I struggle, I am not lost; I am not forgotten. I am still worthy and capable of receiving grace.
The question has been asked the last few Sundays, "What does the resurrection mean for me?” For me it means that I have joy in the middle of my struggles; that because of Christ’s death and resurrection I no longer have to be weighed down with shame. I can be free from sin, free from addiction, free from being stuck in my current reality. I have assurance that this isn’t it for me, and that I have a future that is being revealed to me now. I’m on a journey. I haven’t arrived, but I can see the light. It’s breaking through every day in my life.
So, as I dance like a fool in the kitchen with my kids and sing “I have a hope” at the top of my lungs, I am reminded of the overwhelming love that my Father has shown me. I don’t have to be ashamed because he takes me as I am, and he is using me to testify of his amazing grace. And for this reason, I have hope, I have a future. I have a destiny, and it starts now!!!